A well-deserved tribute, and a cherished family recipe

Since I started this blog, there is one person I continually think to write about because as the most frugal person I've ever known, and a talented home maker, it turns out we have a lot of similar interests. I've mentioned Mere, my grandmother, a few times here and here, and it is with bittersweet feeling that I say she died today. At 87, she was ready to go, but it doesn't make it any less hard to imagine living my life without her. She has been an anchor in our family as long as I've been around. There is much that we differed on in life choices and in overall outlook, but I always found her to be real, honest, and completely unlike anyone else in my life. She refreshed me the way an icy bath would, not altogether pleasant, but very stimulating.

I've been rummaging around in my storehouse of memories today and realizing just how much she imparted to me during her life. She introduced me to the smell and taste of freshly baked bread. And homemade jam--apricot with or without pineapple flecks being her favorite. She used to spin a lazy susan in her kitchen and let me and my sister pick a treat from one of the famously stale candies she kept in random, assorted jars with screw lids. I picked my first raspberry and carrot on her watch. And ate my first prune. (Another item on the lazy susan!) She taught me a nugget of wisdom about cleaning and staying organized that I think of often when my house is in shambles: R.U.R. Reach. Use. Replace. She never wasted something useful and always put things like old yogurt and cottage cheese containers to good use. I'm pretty sure she never bought a ziploc bag, opting instead for her homespun version which consisted of a left over produce plastic bag from the grocery store secured either with a bread bag twist tie or a rubber band from the newspaper. I really don't think I ever left one of our visits without holding one of these contraptions full of coupons, a handful of fruit she'll "never eat" , a few loose hot dogs, a collection of odd medicine cabinet items, or some of her famous Matheson sugar cookies. She valued fairness and always sent every person in the family a card with the same increment of birthday money: $15. She loved flowers and spring time and working the soil. She liked taking a dip in a swimming pool. And cashews. She had lovely hazel eyes. She cleaned and cooked and took keeping her home very seriously, something I admire so much in these modern times. Right up until the end she was fastidious about her house and kept herself busy and active with projects like washing bucketfuls of rocks from her window wells (not kidding you), or hosing off the garage floor, or vacuuming the leaves that fell onto her patio. She was task oriented and remarkably spry and full of energy, even at 87.

What does one do when someone close to our heart dies? I was a little lost today when I returned home from the hospital. I tried to lay down and rest but my mind got the better of me. Before I knew it, I was up organizing my pantry. And then mopping my floors and scrubbing the tub. I washed every pan in the sink and then I wiped the cabinet fronts. It was a little insane, but then again, it was also the perfect tribute to a woman who was never idle and took great pride in her home and her duties there.

Rest in Peace, Mere. I will miss you dearly.

winter cleaning

i just returned from a little trip with my family. it was a great change of scenery for me and the kids and a hit of much needed sunshine. we've had endless grey days this winter and it felt positively shocking to have the sun on my skin and sand in my toes.

i've said this before, but there is nothing like going somewhere (especially with little kids in tow) to make you appreciate going nowhere. it feels so nice and relaxing to be back at home. i've been puttering all day today; looking through closets and doing some much needed straightening and purging. i have been on a big kick to eliminate all the under utilized things that roost. i always think i've already done this and yet i keep finding ways to refine and pare down in every room of the house. it must be mood or bank balance related; sometimes i can let go and sometimes i can't!

we live in a culture where we all have things we keep but never use. plenty of storage is one of the top attributes in a home these days, for heaven's sake. we are well beyond the bare necessities and far into multiples, and bedecking and bedazzling, and cherries on top. going to the thrift store is amazing on so many levels. there is the whole generosity of spirit part--wow, people gave all these things up to those in need. but there is also a part that is pretty freaky to consider. if all these things are here because someone didn't need them anymore, it probably means they have plenty of things to spare. and it also means there is just that much stuff out there in the world that things can literally be homeless, without an owner. our world is overflowing with goods as far as i can tell. bins and piles and aisles and pallets, truck trailers, and shipping containers...it's endless. we're swimming in a sea of items these days and it has become no small task just to keep our literal things managed.

i've started asking myself some pretty strict questions when i'm sorting through drawers or closets. when is the last time i used/wore/admired/loved this? it has been five years, will i truly ever patch this moth hole in this sweater? in reality, will i ever bake a bunny shaped cake? do i really need so many vases? sentimental stuff is clearly the hardest to part with. i'm especially prone to cling when it comes to clothes. they remind me of different eras and choices of my life and i find it really hard to admit that i'm past it or that i simply could never squeeze back into it! when i really assess my stuff and force myself to admit that i don't need it for reasons xyz, i'm almost always relieved. and it even feels good. i finally got wise and started a few bins for donations to good will, things to sell, and things to pass along to friends. it makes the purging and sorting feel organized and less about piles that sit and waste away and get forgotten once again. and this way if i don't get around to going to good will or sending clothes off to my sister's little girl right away, i know the exact spot to go to when i'm ready to tackle the errand.

the "things to sell" category may take some people by surprise, but i am a big utilizer of websites like craigslist, ebay, and our local Utah KSL classifieds. sure i could send everything to good will and still feel really good about it, but, for me, selling some of the "good stuff" i no longer want makes me feel like i'm really putting a value on what i have. and i like that; it means i respect the attainment and the disposal and that means something to me. and of course earning back a little cash from the things we've previously bought is nice too. but my favorite part is that, in general, the person who responds to my ad is really looking for that particular item so i know it will go to good use.

if you are interested in taking your stuff management to the next level, i think the site unclutterer has a lot of valuable tidbits and advice.

today i kept thinking i was onto something....why doesn't everyone say winter cleaning instead of spring cleaning? who wants to stay inside and clean and organize when its blue and dazzling out? in my book this is the perfect realm of activity for these cold, grey days!

The best medicine

I've felt the need for a little boost this weekend. I've been feeling a little off, a little sick, a little bit tired of my own self. I tried to take Gretchen Rubin's advice to "act the way, you want to feel", but it wasn't resonating. Instead, the best medicine I found was making a gorgeous chicken pot pie, watching the entire 5 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice last night, and letting myself be inspired by random tidbits from the modern day oracle-the web.

There are so many people out there in the world making things a little bit brighter. And on the days when I don't feel I'm doing anything of that sort in my own little realm, it is nice to be able to view things from someone elses' eyes. I freaking loved this video project, The Beckoning of Lovely (great name too), by the children's author Amy Krouse Rosenthal. (Her books, incidentally, are fabulous and get my kids giggling every time.) Click the above link and watch for 7 minutes and get all choked up and awed just like I did.

I also was very happy to discover thankfulfor.com, a constantly streaming, communal list of what people feel grateful for. It is addictive to read. People list things big and small, and all of them make me feel happier. I signed up and post something each day too. It's a good reminder that even when grey skies loom and whines are never far from earshot, there are things to smile about.

Brown baggin' it...

I am grateful that little things still have the power to impress me. I wanted to share with you one of those amazing little things that is dumb simple, but may even be able to change your life for the better. My kids have a love affair with popcorn. Cleo is not really a great eater of anything not covered in butter or salt, so, by those parameters, popcorn is pretty much manna from heaven to her. The kid can put away a large bucket of popcorn at the theater and still find time to bat your hand away if she thinks you are taking an inappropriate share. Flynn seems to be following her lead and popcorn is one of the most requested snacks and treats in our house. I shuddered when I first heard the awful stories about people going to the emergency room with mysterious breathing problems only to find out that the culprit was their daily bag of microwave popcorn laden with chemicals and fats that stick to lung lining and other precious innards. Yuck! After that, I switched to the healthy Newmans, 0 trans fat variety, but it is expensive and made Cleo root around to find the "buttery, yellow" ones which equalled a lot of waste and a big mess.

Enter my brother in law Brooks telling me offhandedly that you can pop raw kernels in your microwave in a simple brown paper bag! What? Maybe I'm late to the show on this, but I'd never heard of it. I looked online and found loads of recipes and instructions. And here I am months later ready to tell you....stop buying chemical laden, expensive, packaged popcorn and pop your own! No air popper or other contraption required. All I do is scoop 1/4 c. raw kernels into a regular brown paper sack, fold the top a few times and set it to pop. In my microwave, my "popcorn" button cooks it just right at about 2:00. Once it is done, I put it into a bowl and pour a couple tablespoons melted unsalted butter and some sprinklings of kosher salt. It is delicious and tastes so much better than the store variety. If you want to go even more upscale, this recipe from Food Network's Alton Brown is delicious too. The olive oil really changes the flavor.

And while I'm telling tales of culinary revolution, another little joy we've discovered at our house is juicing oranges. Years ago for Christmas my in-laws gave us a small juicer designed for citrus only. It was one of the best gifts I've ever received! 10 years later and it's still in great condition. Lately, I've been filling a big basket of navel oranges and placing it on the counter. Every few days the kids have a heyday juicing a big pile. It is a great project to keep their little hands busy. They can last 30 minutes doing this which is seriously amazing in my book. (The towers of halved oranges turn out to be pretty fun stacking toys and provide counting practice too!) Plus the juicing infuses my kitchen with the smell of a much warmer clime, something I'm really appreciating at this point in a snowy, cold winter, and it gets us all a good dose of healthy vitamin c.

Like I said, little things.... but more and more I find that is what the joys of life really are about: simple pleasures and new discoveries.

Steam up those windows...

For me the stretch of winter between January through Feburary is always about hunkering down. I tend to get rooted to home and projects and day dream about the warmer days to come when I can be outside doing the things I really love. I find myself dreading January and February, but in actuality, I think the record would show these are good months for me. I get a lot done when I'm staying focused on home, and though my expanding waistline might disagree, I get so much enjoyment out of cooking in the cold, winter days. It is interactive entertainment (especially if you involve your kids) and it is thoughtful attention to a task that I find really relaxing. And then there's the eating. It's hard to beat summer produce but a comfort laden winter meal comes close. Love you hot cinnamon-y oatmeal, Mmmm pasta with alfredo sauce and peas and ham, yum bread pudding, ahhhh french onion soup smothered in gruyere, yes roasted chicken with mashed potatoes, more please chipotle spiked roasted squash and salty oven roasted brocooli..... so many good tastes and sensations. And I get inexplicably warm inside when I see the stock pot steaming up the windows in my kitchen and then look out to the snow covered trees and roofs beyond. It's a gorgeous feeling, and such a good reminder of the safety and comfort and blessings I have within the walls of my home.

Cooking is a powerful thing. It is one of those uniquely human acts....can't think of a time I've ever heard about a monkey or a dog boiling up some pasta...and since cooking ultimately leads to eating, it is a cornerstone of our species' survival. But let's not forget that it can also be very fun. I might be somewhat biased with that statement since I've always liked to cook, but I really think it is true. The process of making food, especially for loved ones or to celebrate a special occasion is galvanizing. I love the tradition of taking food to a family with a brand new baby. Funeral food and baby shower food are distinct and recognizable breeds. Funeral cheesy potatoes anyone? Chciken salad with grapes on crossiant? I love the way food and certain dishes or tastes can link to memories and to people. My dad? He's swedish pancakes and cucumber and swiss sandwiches on rykrisp or limpa. My mom? She's hot fudge sauce and pork roasts with perfect gravy. My sister? Sugar cookies and banana cake. My grandma Mere? Swedish spritz and apricot nectar. Jaren? A perfectly cooked fried or poached egg with feta and spinach. Food creates legacies and merriment. I really believe that. It's a belief I hope I'm instilling in my kids each and every day they watch (and help) me in the kitchen.

Yesterday was Cleo's 6th birthday. (Unimaginable!) We spent literally a few hours of the morning making her birthday cake, a delectable and insane 6 layer rainbow deal inspired by this picture of baked loveliness I randomly found online. Though our final product bore no resemblance to that one (and lost 2 layers to a tragic pan sticking incident), it was really fun to spend the birthday morning in our robes, spilling sugar, splattering egg whites, and swirling vibrant colors into batter. It felt celebratory, and like so much in life, I think the effort made the taste all the sweeter.

Shake it like a polaroid picture...

As a stay at home parent, my job description is constantly morphing. Somedays I feel I'm the entertainer. Others more of the referee or disciplinarian. Somedays I'm a coach running defense and sometimes clearly in charge with offensive plays up my sleeve. Sometimes I'm slave and short order cook and others I'm master and chef. And let me tell you as a temporary single parent ,and one that hasn't left the house or my two children in 48 hours thanks to little sickies, I could currently be described as potential sadist!

I don't know if you've seen this or not, but I've noticed that some stay at home parents fill out assorted forms at school, or on social media, or wherever, with a job description that says CEO of Smith Household or employed by Emma (7) and Kate (5) or some kind of cute spin. I'm not a big fan of this in general, but I did, however, happen to recently see a description, still tongue in check, that I actually thought brilliantly applied: Director of Development. As parents, we really are the central source for encouraging our childrens' development into self sufficient and hopefully productive, happy adults. We directly expose (and sometimes indirectly, oops) expose them to information. We are their first touchstones for making sense of the world around them. It's a huge position to field and one that has oh so many strings and expectations attached.

I've had this in mind the last couple days even as I fight the urge to impatiently wring necks....here I am developing my child each and every waking minute we interact. Am I actively or passively doing this? I've been picturing myself shaking the polaroid, with just a little bit more of their images "developing", becoming clear each day.

Interestingly, I have been reading a bunch about Maria Montessori, the founder and theorist behind the education system commonly referred to as Montessori, lately and her philosophies dovetail so nicely with this idea. (Let me say in advance that I have no direct experience with Montessori education and neither do my children. We've done straight up preschools and public school thus far. ) But learning somewhere that Montessori was the first woman to practice medicine in Italy in 1896 initially piqued my interest about her. As did lots of little tidbits I'd see around on other blogs about Montessori methods with kids which all seemed to point to creative exploration and inner development.

It turns out that Montessori's main theory is that we are incomplete at birth. We require adult nurturing for a period of time before becoming fully functioning adults. Montessori thought this period of formation lasted until the age of 24. (And random or not, neural scientists have recently concluded through studies that the foundational neural structures in the frontal lobes of the human brain are not complete until around age 24!) Montessori believed education was an aid to life, it was a way to help children build their inner selves, their minds, from infancy to maturity. She once said "a child's work is to create the person he/she will become." I love her rationale that no two individuals learn the same thing the same way, so in essence no two individuals will ever build the same brain. Montessori originated the descriptor "Kids are like sponges" though it sounded all old-timey and professional when she said it since she used the words "absorbent minds" instead. Anyone who has spent anytime with children knows how much information they are capable of swallowing and with such gusto and enthusiasm. They are a rapt audience just waiting for the show.

And though I'm focusing in on children because of, ahem, my very important job description as Director of Development, I don't see any reason that this line of thinking can't be applied to one's own life, regardless of age or station. Aren't we all really directors of our own development each and every day? Wouldn't you hope that your most important job in life is to become exactly who you want to be?

Build Routines

Happy TWENTY TEN to all of you! I hope this new year is exactly what you want it to be. I want to start this off by telling all of you lovely readers out there how much it means to me that you read this blog. December 29 was the one year anniversary of this project! I am pretty proud of that fact. It makes me so happy to put my thoughts, passions, fears, and personality out there and I appreciate your support and readership so much. I plan to continue developing this site and hope to unveil some improvements shortly. So, please stay tuned. And I don't think I say this enough...please feel free to make comments, queries, and pointers on any and everything I write about. I love to hear from you and would love this place to feel more like a meeting of the minds. So comment away if you are so inclined! And thanks again for making this so worth it for me.

With the new year fresh as the morning dew, like most, I have fresh starts and goals on the mind. I really do love a good resolution and this year one of mine is to create better routines for me personally and for my family. I came across this phrase "building routines" somewhere awhile back and have had it scrawled on our chalkboard for months. I realize that I am drawn to the phrase because of the inherent implication that a routine has to start from zilch and grow into something more, establish itself as it were. You can't make new habits materialize and work out of thin air. And yet this is the approach I normally go for...I try to force very specific changes and want them to happen overnight. My family has braved all kinds of iterations of my good intentions relating to our tv watching habits, creative aspirations, chores, exercise plans, and reading. The best laid plans...but somehow everything disintegrates fairly quickly and I'm back to my free form sense of each day where pretty much what happens just does. I tend to be pretty laissez faire about life, and since Jaren's schedule being self employed is super flexible, our weeks look really different from one to the next. Sometimes we're all home on Wednesday and stay in our PJs until 12:00 and sometimes Jaren is out of town and I get the urge to be up and at 'em by 9:00. It just depends, and there isn't much rhyme or reason to it. I think Cleo's school schedule is the most rigid thing in our life. Isn't that funny?

Lately this lack of repetitive routine has been bugging me. Maybe I crave more structure because of the semblance of control it brings to life. But I also think my family would benefit from something they could recognize as a standard course of events. (To hear kid pros tell it, children thrive on routine, right?) I like to think about milking everything I can out of each day in terms of enjoyment but also in terms of learning and productivity. I always have a lot of to do's floating around in my head and some fall into the honest to goodness chore or must do category, but a lot fall into that nebulous personal fulfillment area. I want to make time in my life for things like reading a good book and creating something with my own two hands. I want to be sure that my kids get to hear us read stories aloud to them each and every day. I want to spend time outdoors, regardless of the season. I would love to listen to a podcast of This American LIfe every Sunday with Jaren over our morning coffee. I could call each of these items goals, but what I actually would like them to be is just part of my life.

And this, I realize is the key clincher when thinking about building a routine. I think I may have been looking at it all wrong all these years, highlighting what I should do instead of what I want to do. What do I want each week I live to include? What balance do I want to strike? What do I want my kids' days to be filled with? Asking myself these questions rather than mumbling dishearteningly "I should be reading more", "I should be exercising daily" etc. etc. has really helped me isolate the routine I want to build. And true to my, and my family's laissez faire nature, I think I've hit on a format that can still resemble a routine without being too stringent and inflexible for our oh so flexible lifestyle. I don't have to assign a day or a set time to each thing, just a goal to hit each one at least once during the week with a very basic category check off list.

Here's how I envision it working: basically I've broken the routine down into the different elements I want to include within each week. They are: create, educate, clean, exercise, organize, entertain. Each category functions on two levels, one personal and the other family. For example each week, I want to create something and I want my kids to do this as well. We can craft, write a story, take photos, draw, that kind of thing. For clean, I have to do the normal household cleaning but I want to make sure my kids get in the habit of doing cleaning chores that effect their immediate surroundings as well. Educate will hopefully ensure that I spend adequate time reading this year and exposing myself to new info via print, podcast or computer. And the same thing for my family. Organize is the umbrella term for tackling household and personal things like sorting my iphoto, going through my massive magazine clipping stash, restacking the linen closet, going through all the tiny baby clothes that have no business being in Flynn's closet anymore--pretty much all the things I put off because I never assign myself a moment to do them. Exercise is self explanatory, though including the kids on this one is important to me because, especially in the winter, we don't always move, move, move as much as we should. Entertain is the purely fun one. This includes time with friends, tv and movie watching, and random social and family activities out and about.

If we manage to actually do something in all those areas at least once a week I think I'm looking at a pretty balanced, good life. I think its the life I want to lead, and if being a little type A about it helps me get there then I'm willing to try it. So don't make fun of me. And fingers crossed, if it works (and I will report back in a few weeks on our progress) you may just want to give it your own little mini type A whirl.