giving thanks

thankful |ˈθa ng kfəl|

adjectivepleased and relieved : [with clause ] they were thankful that the war was finally over | [with infinitive ] I was very thankful to be alive.• expressing gratitude and relief : an earnest and thankful prayer.

when it comes to holidays i play favorites. thanksgiving is the best. i love that it centers around simple joys like food and family. i love the origins of the story as well, pilgrims and the mayflower, plymouth rock, and squanto. it really is the story of the start of our country-venturing out, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, and defying expectations--and our collective legacy of combining cultural backgrounds to make something new and different. that thanksgiving continues to be a yearly tradition in our lives means something. i think we as american people recognize the value of reflecting on all that we have and that is a cultural trait i am very proud to claim.

today i wanted to give lip service to the obvious. thanksgiving is truly about being thankful and letting the gratitude i feel for my life and my circumstances take center stage. and in my world this means articulating what exactly i feel thankful for. living as most of us do in relative plenty and nearly absolute freedom, i have so many things to name. i live a very lucky life. i am healthy. i am surrounded by good family and love. i am happily married to a soul mate. i am raising two children who delight me and make me understand the meaning and importance of selflessness. i have friends, near and far, who buoy my spirits and inspire me with their smarts, creativity, wit, and caring. i have choices about what to do with each day i live and i know that there are places and people and circumstances not so lucky. i feel a profound gratefulness toward nature for all it teaches, inspires, and provides in my life.

i could rattle on and on and am guessing you could too. one of the things i try to be mindful of is that even when life is really going awry and down the tubes, there is always something worth my gratitude. on a really shitty day the fact that i am breathing in and out, alive, comes to mind. on a better day, i can get a little more specific! i think that's a trick to contentment, to just remember that there is always something worthy of our thanks, or if you want to put the half empty spin on it: things could always be worse!

so this week as we're all feasting, sitting around various tables with those we love, let's let ourselves be awash in gratitude and attempt to name it in whatever way feels right and let's celebrate that for this one day a year there is a collective moment, a national mindset of thankfulness.

a crafty mindset

a momentous thing occurred yesterday: cleo has her first wiggly tooth! she has been aching to join the ranks of her toothless cousins and friends and lose that first tooth. she was beyond thrilled to feel that rare twinge of pain and ache that a loose tooth brings. for me those little baby teeth falling out signal the end of an era and so i feel it is worth commemorating in some small way. i want to be ready when that first one falls out and i have noticed a slough of cute little tooth fairy pillows and things in stores and online. i actually went somewhere yesterday to buy something like that for cleo but didn't find anything i liked. then i remembered seeing a super cute tooth fairy bag project from the purl bee. (this site is great if you like to get in there and DIY and get crafty.)

now, let's be clear. i have long thought of myself as a creative, but i rarely get crafty, and when i do the results are almost universally disappointing and non-spectacular. i am not very gifted with patience for finite details, i'm more of a broad swath kinda gal. so let's just say that i was more than pleased to realize that this little bag was absolutely within my limited range of craft ability and know how. and to my utter surprise i even had decent felt in my fabric box that was perfect for this purpose. i was able to bust out a tooth fairy bag for cleo in one night! a personal best for my crafting record. it definitely isn't perfect, stitches are off kilter and different sized, as is my sewing way, but it is cute, it functions, and cleo is thrilled. actually i could be more thrilled than she, but that's the way it is with handmade gifts right? i think they often give just as much pleasure to the maker as to the getter.

this little project was a perfect thing for me to have accomplished on the cusp, as we are, from holiday mania. if the onslaught of catalogs and end cap displays at the stores are any indication, then christmas is next week. (well, it is actually in 6 weeks, but holy crap, that's soon!) i love christmas and i love to be a giver of fantastic gifts. i felt tangible magic around this time of year as a child and every year of my adult life i notice that magic shrinks a little bit more and gets replaced with what i would call a frenetic pressure that exhausts me and make me forget to sing along to andy williams in the gleeful way my sister and i did every single year of our childhood. it doesn't take a genius to realize the reason i feel less magic around the holidays is because i let less magic in....i have replaced the spirit of the season with over scheduling and obligations and frantic buying and not left enough spare time to entice the peaceful, carefree, 'hap-happiest time" (insert jonny mathis voice-over) moments the season was created to entice in our lives.

so maybe one of the ways i can achieve more of these kind of moments this year is by carving out more mindful time at home making gifts for the special people who surround me. this little bag project reminded me just how much satisfaction comes from truly thinking about someone and their needs and dedicating the energy to make something just for them. i don't think every gift has to be handmade to be a good one--thoughtful, perfect buying is an art form too and lord knows there is plenty of great stuff out there to hope and pine for--but in my own experience, the handmade gift is always so full of love, so full of care and attention, it can't help but stand out and be treasured. it is the opposite of generic, it is utterly personal on both sides of the equation and it is as much a gesture as it is a thing. and i think cultivating that during the season that is turning into excess on every front, mindless shopping sprees, and hectic exchanges, is a quiet magic all its own. i can't promise 100% homemade this year, but it is something i'm going to work toward starting now. nothing worse than rushing and feeling pressure over a handmade gift!

anyone else out there need a tooth fairy bag? i'm on a roll!

Nurture Nature

When was the last time you and your family spent time together outdoors? Do you allow your children the chance to play unsupervised outside, whether it is in the backyard or down the block? Do your childhood memories contain experiences in nature? Have you splashed in a puddle or looked at the stars in your adult life? Do your children regularly do these things? Do you take your children to places outdoors besides the park and the zoo? Have you ever been in true wilderness, untouched by man? Do you look out the window when you are in your car? Do your kids?

These questions have been on my mind because of a very interesting book I've been reading called Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Writer Richard Louv makes a strong, empassioned case that today's children (and actually beginning with my own generation of children of the 70s) are disconnecting from Nature because of a steady decline in the amount of time people spend outdoors, and particularly a decline in time having direct experience with Nature--meaning time that you aren't just playing soccer at the park or riding your bike down the block, but truly interacting and engaging with the natural surroundings. Louv cites a lot of reasons our kids are spending less and less time outside roaming free as many generations before did. The top ones are simply having less free time for both family and outdoor play, diminishing access to true "wild" nature as communities and suburbs expand, being literally plugged in more than unplugged whether it is to play stations, tv, computer, or ipods, and of course the modern day fears of letting children play unattended in a dangerous predatory world, as well as the legal/liability fears about children getting hurt while doing something 'dangerous' on community or personal property.

That's a tall list in my book and all of those reasons are things that I contend with when I think about why my own children don't spend more time out-of-doors. I feel a sadness that the current generation of children doesn't have the access to wide open space and the freedom to roam that I did as a child. I really do notice a difference. I know the world is a busy place and our private lives are busy too. But it seems crazy to think that there is no place, no time in our lives for Nature anymore. I just don't believe that can be true.

So what are children (and we adults) losing if they don't spend time engaging with the natural world? Louv, and a rising number of psychologists and educators, believe that by losing touch with Nature, children are losing touch with a vital source for a huge array of skill sets. Playing outdoors provides access to hands on, direct experience and generally experiences that engage all the senses--something plugging into a screen can never hope to do. Nature play encourages attention to detail and the sort of unstructured playing that fosters creativity and intelligence.(Studies have linked ADHD with Nature Deficit as well as Nature as a remedy for increasing children with ADHD's capacity to maintain attention.) Children who spend time in Nature glean basic knowledge and understanding about the natural sciences and the process by which life grows and changes. They develop a bond with their surroundings that can naturally bring about an understanding of the need for wilderness protection and conservation. And of course as anyone who has watched children running around in the wild knows, playing outside without fear of strangers, cars, or safety builds a child's sense of wonder and delight. It is endlessly entertaining and I think really cathartic for kids. It gives them a chance to blow off steam and be truly free of agenda.

I feel really connected with this line of thinking because in my own life, and in my life as a mother, I have seen the transformative power of Nature to bring focus and mental and emotional clarity, and to provide endless teachable moments and endless streams of questions. The environment around us was the original thing we humans had to figure out to survive and I still think there is a yearning deep inside each of us to continue to uncover it. Maybe part of the modern day depression epidemic is that we have begun to deny ourselves this most basic desire?

Nature can't help but be fascinating. There is so much there, so much at a glance that we don't immediately understand. This is just as true for adults as it is for children. I think of Nature as being the most direct empirical evidence we have for something bigger than ourselves; the perfection of it, the majesty, the absolute diversity of creatures and climates and details. It is astounding and it makes sense to me that if we don't encourage ourselves and our children to spend time being outside then we risk alienating ourselves from what makes us tick. We are a part of the landscape even though we try very hard to deny this.

Though I think my children are lucky to have already spent a good portion of time outside hiking, camping, and playing, this book has been a very nice reminder that it will take commitment to keep this as a continued goal in my home, particularly as my children grow and undoubtably become more and more plugged in. I agree with Louv, a relationship with the outdoors shouldn't be an elective course in childhood. It is something we need to nurture and allow.

We live in one of the most beautiful countries on Planet Earth. I'm almost certain that there is something beautiful to see and discover around every bend and in every town. And unlike a lot of the modernized world, we still have some open space to explore. We still have true American Wilderness. But even if we can't always jet off to Yosemite or Alaska or manage a hike, there are so many ways to encourage an awareness and a love of Nature in our lives. I have been making a little list of some of the things I do in my house to help make Nature accessible to me and to the kids and thought I would share, but I think the most obvious one is the most important..> JUST GO OUTSIDE!

-Encourage collecting: leaves, shells, acorns, rocks, bugs, berries. Kids are natural born collectors and this teaches them to take note of the little things and see that Nature is the sum of its parts.

-Have a nature table or spot where nature collections can be displayed inside. I use simple glass mason jars for Cleo's collections.

-Clip flowers and leaves from the yard or a walk and display them in a vase. Give Nature pride of place.

- Plant seeds together and watch them grow. Garden!

-Let your kids work in the yard with you and talk about what you are growing or why you are raking, weeding, etc.

-Go outside, even in bad weather. Taking a walk in the snow or in blustery wind and rain engages the senses and makes it an experience instead of just a walk down the block.

-We love the park and zoo but I try to sometimes offer other outdoor settings-hikes in the mountains, arboretums, throwing stones in a nearby river, etc. One of the great points Louv makes is that Nature happens in the edges, in places between places. If you have a usual park, try going off the path a bit into the bushes or under the trees instead of hitting the playground or grass.

-Mix it up at the library and try to find good nonfiction books about Nature. Subjects like weather are fascinating to kids and I have found that I'm pretty rusty on these subjects too and end up learning a lot myself! We also love field guides about bugs, birds, plants, and animal scat (poo!). It is pretty empowering to be able to name what you see.

-Install a bird feeder in your yard and watch birds.

-Take the time to comment about Nature to your kids...if you see a beautiful sunset or flower, tell them!