December 21st is an important day to acknowledge....

Today marks the shortest day, the longest night in our yearly calendar. I know I mentioned that one of our advent activities this season is to celebrate and understand the winter solstice. I've been reading up on the solstice and I've learned so many interesting things and I am just bursting to share so indulge me, please....

I don't know how much you remember from your junior high science class, but, basically we on planet earth are in constant rotation on a daily, 24 hour basis; our planet spinning around in a full circle on its axis creating day and night. Its day for you when your side of the spin is turned toward the sun and night when it is away from the sun. Just to help make your head spin a little more (ha ha) our planet is also in constant rotation on a yearly basis, taking 12 months to make a circle (okay ellipse) around the sun. This, along with the way Earth tilts as it rotates, is responsible for how much light hits the northern part of the Earth and how much hits the southern part on a daily basis. This change in how much light from the sun we receive is what creates our different seasons. On the winter solstice, we in the northern hemisphere are tilted away from the sun and the sun has reached is lowest and southern-most point in the sky giving us the shortest amount of light of the entire year.

Now why is any of this of interest? Well way back when people were actually trying to figure out the world through observation rather than school and books and iphones, and life was just generally more precarious, having the sun reach its lowest point and face long, dark days was a very scary thing. Interestingly, the actual Latin root meaning of solstice is "sun stood still" because the sun pretty much ceases to move for 6 days in December, right around the solstice, appearing to set and rise in nearly the same spot. And being the keen observers they were, the ancients were concerned that the sun wouldn't move again, leaving them in a state of darkness with plants unable to grow, cold seeping in, and life around them dying.

Festivals celebrating the solstice were born out of this fear really, born both to thank the sun and to cajole it into continuing to shine to light our way and our ways of life. Religions and spirituality then were completely tied to Earth and to its constantly changing nature. And though we today have the luxury of being fairly divorced from this type of thinking and direct observation about the world around us, I think it is really interesting to point out that regardless of specific religion, nearly all the ways we celebrate the holidays around this time of year contain traces of ancient solstice celebrations. Here are a few connections I loved:

-Romans 2,000 years ago celebrated the shortest day with merrymaking and by decorating their doors with evergreen wreaths to symbolize that spring (and green growth) would return.

-Miseltoe, called "all heal" was an important good luck plant used in solstice celebrations by Druids.

-In Sweden, for the festival of light called St Lucia, girls wear crowns of evergreen and burning candles to help "rekindle the sun's fire"

-The twelve days of Christmas originates with the 12 "intercalary days" honored by the Romans linking the solar and lunar calendar cycles.

-The word yule is not only shorthand for this time of year but is also a large log set afire to "teach" the light to return.

I think I am eager to celebrate the solstice because it is such a direct way to acknowledge how miraculous the workings of the world are. The complexity of the sun and the earth locked in this dance of movement that gives us all life and rhythm and variation. It's beautiful and scary and completely out of our control. I love the idea of reveling in this and letting myself enjoy this super long day of darkness and reminding myself that the light will return. Tomorrow will be just a little bit lighter, a little bit longer.

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE EVERYONE! I am hopeful that in your own life and family you will take a moment to honor this unique day by turning off your house lights, lighting a few candles or a big fire, and opening your door, if only for a second, to the deep darkness outside.

p.s. I loved all the above books-good for me and the kids. I would absolutely recommend all of them.

TWENTY TEN

Hard to believe we are approaching a new year and a new decade. I love writing out TWENTY TEN instead of 2010. It looks graphic and more fun than the numerical. And so much more official, just as if I was announcing the new year on some kind of authentic new year's letterhead belonging to Dick Clark. I dig making resolutions and over the past few years Jaren and I have had fun coming up with a yearly mantra, of sorts. Last year was Just Be Better and I think we pretty much rocked it. We have some loose strings, of course, that can always use tightening, but it has been a killer year for buckling down and setting new priorities for simplicity, family, home, and productivity. We haven't decided on this year's mantra yet but I'm gunning for KEEP YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT since I think if we keep going down this path we're on without getting all disorientated looking over to the weeds, I think we will be in good shape. But I will have to wait for Jaren's vote before this mantra becomes cross stitch material.

I haven't set down a full list of resolutions for the new year yet but I took a step toward one this weekend that I'm excited about. In TWENTY TEN I am hoping to feed my family only locally raised, sustainably produced meat. Through the wonderful local chapter of Slow Food International, I learned about a small family farm that raises hogs and allows people to purchase as little as 1/4 of the pig which is a lot of meat, but isn't so much that you need a full meat locker in your basement. I have a second fridge in the garage and the meat is packed tight in there, but it is manageable. So the farm is Christiansens Hog Heaven and I had the pleasure of meeting Christian and his wife, Hollie, this Saturday when I picked up my 1/4 pork from the back of their white Ford Superduty 150 in the parking lot of Home Depot. I loved the gritty fact of picking this meat up in a random parking lot, straight from them and their truck with their 3 kids watching a movie in the cab. It was fun and it felt good to support them so directly. There was a line of other people waiting for their meat (they had 44 orders!) and it was heartening to see this and to know that other people out there are looking outside the grocery store case to find a more natural order in the food chain. I made a couple rashers (look at me and my new butcher talk!) of bacon this weekend and it was delicious--thick and chewy and not too salty. I love the look of all those wrapped freezer paper bundles stamped with the cut of meat. I am now the proud owner of a ham hock! Wow! Beginning this February, the Christiansens' are going to be adding grass fed beef to their offerings--all pasture fed, free range, and humanely treated. And they will be offering it in small 1/8 sizes too which is lovely for small families and small freezers. I think you still may even get some choices about what cuts you want. They may have pasture raised chicken and turkeys ready by spring too, which means they may just become my one stop local meat shop. If you live in Utah, eat meat, and have concerns about where your food comes from, check out their blog via the above link and consider supporting them. All you need is a freezer and the will to help change a broken system!

Another resolution I have for the new year is to move to a cash only spending situation. I have to face facts. I am not responsible enough to have a credit card in my wallet. It is just that simple. I am a flibbertigibbet and so full of impulse and attraction to beautiful, shiny things that I might as well be a magpie. I just don't do well without parameters. If I am to ever stick to a budget it has to be one that I can relate to in a tactile way. I've tried spreadsheets and mint.com and setting goals. I've had a piggy bank and a high interest cd. But somehow it is never real to me if I only see the balance on the screen. It is real to me, however, when I see the thread bare lining of my wallet. It's that simple. I'm 5 when it comes to money. If I see it, I have it. If I don't see but have a debit or credit card handy, I just pretend to see it. But if I don't have an alternate form of payment and I don't see it...well, you get the idea.....it's gone! I have no more money to spend. I'm done. Again, so simple my kid can do it. So maybe I can finally do it too and stick to a hard and fast budget in TWENTY TEN? If I keep the old head on straight, I don't see why not.

advent...follow up

i've gotten a couple requests for the actual list of activities we are doing each day for our advent, so here goes:

01. breakfast for dinner by candlelight

02. make a homemade gift for someone

03. make gingerbread houses

04. go pick out our christmas tree and then decorate it

05. watch a christmas movie with popcorn

06. take a moonlit walk

07. have a holiday song sing a long

08. read christmas books at the foot of the tree

09. family spa: manicures, pedicures, foot rubs

10. cut out paper snowflakes

11. make 5 ornaments for our ornament exchange via Crafty Crow

12. bake & decorate Christmas cookies and share with family and neighbors

13. drive to Christmas street and look at holiday light displays around town

14. have a shadow puppet theater night in our PJs

15. read the nutcracker and listen to the music

16. make gift tags and more homemade presents

17. take a wintery walk and make snow angels

18. pray for peace and take food to the food bank

19. play christmas bingo & help mom make yearly hot fudge sauce for friends

20. celebrate the winter solstice with an outside bonfire and hot drinks

21. ride the polar express!

22. make fancy hot chocolate with homemade marshmellows

23. sit by the fire and read about baby jesus

24. wrap presents and leave santa a plate of cookies and thank you note.

advent. the big count down begins.

ah, back to a normal week. as the photos attest, it was a marathon holiday weekend of activities with cooking and eating being the thread that linked them all. i think i enjoyed the quiet moments of creating and cooking the most-making a flower arrangement for the turkey day table and trying to perfect my homemade piecrust top the list. with my piecrust, i think the flavor and texture are there but the rolling out technique still needs work. where is a pioneer or southern woman circa 1920 when you need one? it was a pretty fugly looking crust, though that would be par for the course with me since i like to say that i specialize in making ugly desserts.

cleo and i decorated the kids' christmas tree on friday. i am plenty anal when it comes to holiday decorating and have declared an adult christmas tree and a kids' tree a necessity since i won't let nary a colored light or a stray ornament touch my tree. i like to style a new tree every year, and inspired by my new glossy white living room floors, i have a hankering for an all white luxe themed tree this year....just plain clear glass ornaments and maybe some feathers...something really airy and simple. but alas, after checking our current bank balance and going through all the boxes of things i currently own, i can't justify buying a new batch of holiday decor. the white tree will have to wait and i will have to breathe new life into last year's woodland inspired tree full of pine cones, tree branches, and moss.

christmas decorating can be so much fun, but like so much of the holiday crap, if i let it stress me out or make it feel like an obligation then the purpose, and the joy, are lost. i think one of the most successful ways i've found to keep the fun spirit of the season in mind is to do a christmas activity advent calendar. there are many versions of the advent tradition which is basically just a count down to the arrival of christmas day. there are lots of cute iterations swimming around online by far more crafty and talented folks than i (check out the link to see a listing of some great ones.) but i keep mine super simple and it works just fine by my standards. this year i cut out 23 little squares of green construction paper (and one brown one for the trunk) numbered them, and taped them up in the shape of a tree. i write a simple holiday or family activity on the back of each square, one for each day leading up to the big dec 25th.

and since i'm trying hard to hum a homemade and frugal tune this holiday season, there is only one activity out of 24 that will actually cost us money. lucky for me a two and five year old have pretty manageable expectations! a sampling of the activities i included: reading the nutcracker together then listening to the music, making hot chocolate and homemade marshmallows (something i've been dying to try), taking a moonlit walk, baking christmas cookies to deliver to our neighbors, etc. i tried to think of things that were simple to do and wouldn't take too much planning on my part and would encourage the kind of pace, home time, and thoughtfulness that i want this season to represent in our home.

one of the things i'm most excited to include in the advent is a real acknowledgement of the winter solstice on dec 21. this is the longest night of the year. the shortest day. and i think i've always focused on this aspect of darkness instead of realizing that what traditionally cultures are really celebrating is the return of the light; the return of warmth and the growing season and plenty. each winter day going forward from the solstice is a less dark one, a longer day in which to live. i think that is such a beautiful sentiment and definitely worth my family's notice. and not coming from a decidedly christian point of view, i feel very happy to embrace and teach about yet another reason we gather to celebrate this time of year. yay for jesus! yay for light! yay for a reason to be with those you love and party! that's what i say.

so if you have a spare minute this week, create an activity advent. it's like a fail-safe for christmas joy, ensuring that at least once a day you will share a moment that consciously sets this season apart from any other. added bonus: your kids will think you are nearly as fun as santa and they just might give you a small breather from the "is it christmas yet" chanting.

giving thanks

thankful |ˈθa ng kfəl|

adjectivepleased and relieved : [with clause ] they were thankful that the war was finally over | [with infinitive ] I was very thankful to be alive.• expressing gratitude and relief : an earnest and thankful prayer.

when it comes to holidays i play favorites. thanksgiving is the best. i love that it centers around simple joys like food and family. i love the origins of the story as well, pilgrims and the mayflower, plymouth rock, and squanto. it really is the story of the start of our country-venturing out, pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, and defying expectations--and our collective legacy of combining cultural backgrounds to make something new and different. that thanksgiving continues to be a yearly tradition in our lives means something. i think we as american people recognize the value of reflecting on all that we have and that is a cultural trait i am very proud to claim.

today i wanted to give lip service to the obvious. thanksgiving is truly about being thankful and letting the gratitude i feel for my life and my circumstances take center stage. and in my world this means articulating what exactly i feel thankful for. living as most of us do in relative plenty and nearly absolute freedom, i have so many things to name. i live a very lucky life. i am healthy. i am surrounded by good family and love. i am happily married to a soul mate. i am raising two children who delight me and make me understand the meaning and importance of selflessness. i have friends, near and far, who buoy my spirits and inspire me with their smarts, creativity, wit, and caring. i have choices about what to do with each day i live and i know that there are places and people and circumstances not so lucky. i feel a profound gratefulness toward nature for all it teaches, inspires, and provides in my life.

i could rattle on and on and am guessing you could too. one of the things i try to be mindful of is that even when life is really going awry and down the tubes, there is always something worth my gratitude. on a really shitty day the fact that i am breathing in and out, alive, comes to mind. on a better day, i can get a little more specific! i think that's a trick to contentment, to just remember that there is always something worthy of our thanks, or if you want to put the half empty spin on it: things could always be worse!

so this week as we're all feasting, sitting around various tables with those we love, let's let ourselves be awash in gratitude and attempt to name it in whatever way feels right and let's celebrate that for this one day a year there is a collective moment, a national mindset of thankfulness.

a crafty mindset

a momentous thing occurred yesterday: cleo has her first wiggly tooth! she has been aching to join the ranks of her toothless cousins and friends and lose that first tooth. she was beyond thrilled to feel that rare twinge of pain and ache that a loose tooth brings. for me those little baby teeth falling out signal the end of an era and so i feel it is worth commemorating in some small way. i want to be ready when that first one falls out and i have noticed a slough of cute little tooth fairy pillows and things in stores and online. i actually went somewhere yesterday to buy something like that for cleo but didn't find anything i liked. then i remembered seeing a super cute tooth fairy bag project from the purl bee. (this site is great if you like to get in there and DIY and get crafty.)

now, let's be clear. i have long thought of myself as a creative, but i rarely get crafty, and when i do the results are almost universally disappointing and non-spectacular. i am not very gifted with patience for finite details, i'm more of a broad swath kinda gal. so let's just say that i was more than pleased to realize that this little bag was absolutely within my limited range of craft ability and know how. and to my utter surprise i even had decent felt in my fabric box that was perfect for this purpose. i was able to bust out a tooth fairy bag for cleo in one night! a personal best for my crafting record. it definitely isn't perfect, stitches are off kilter and different sized, as is my sewing way, but it is cute, it functions, and cleo is thrilled. actually i could be more thrilled than she, but that's the way it is with handmade gifts right? i think they often give just as much pleasure to the maker as to the getter.

this little project was a perfect thing for me to have accomplished on the cusp, as we are, from holiday mania. if the onslaught of catalogs and end cap displays at the stores are any indication, then christmas is next week. (well, it is actually in 6 weeks, but holy crap, that's soon!) i love christmas and i love to be a giver of fantastic gifts. i felt tangible magic around this time of year as a child and every year of my adult life i notice that magic shrinks a little bit more and gets replaced with what i would call a frenetic pressure that exhausts me and make me forget to sing along to andy williams in the gleeful way my sister and i did every single year of our childhood. it doesn't take a genius to realize the reason i feel less magic around the holidays is because i let less magic in....i have replaced the spirit of the season with over scheduling and obligations and frantic buying and not left enough spare time to entice the peaceful, carefree, 'hap-happiest time" (insert jonny mathis voice-over) moments the season was created to entice in our lives.

so maybe one of the ways i can achieve more of these kind of moments this year is by carving out more mindful time at home making gifts for the special people who surround me. this little bag project reminded me just how much satisfaction comes from truly thinking about someone and their needs and dedicating the energy to make something just for them. i don't think every gift has to be handmade to be a good one--thoughtful, perfect buying is an art form too and lord knows there is plenty of great stuff out there to hope and pine for--but in my own experience, the handmade gift is always so full of love, so full of care and attention, it can't help but stand out and be treasured. it is the opposite of generic, it is utterly personal on both sides of the equation and it is as much a gesture as it is a thing. and i think cultivating that during the season that is turning into excess on every front, mindless shopping sprees, and hectic exchanges, is a quiet magic all its own. i can't promise 100% homemade this year, but it is something i'm going to work toward starting now. nothing worse than rushing and feeling pressure over a handmade gift!

anyone else out there need a tooth fairy bag? i'm on a roll!

Nurture Nature

When was the last time you and your family spent time together outdoors? Do you allow your children the chance to play unsupervised outside, whether it is in the backyard or down the block? Do your childhood memories contain experiences in nature? Have you splashed in a puddle or looked at the stars in your adult life? Do your children regularly do these things? Do you take your children to places outdoors besides the park and the zoo? Have you ever been in true wilderness, untouched by man? Do you look out the window when you are in your car? Do your kids?

These questions have been on my mind because of a very interesting book I've been reading called Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Writer Richard Louv makes a strong, empassioned case that today's children (and actually beginning with my own generation of children of the 70s) are disconnecting from Nature because of a steady decline in the amount of time people spend outdoors, and particularly a decline in time having direct experience with Nature--meaning time that you aren't just playing soccer at the park or riding your bike down the block, but truly interacting and engaging with the natural surroundings. Louv cites a lot of reasons our kids are spending less and less time outside roaming free as many generations before did. The top ones are simply having less free time for both family and outdoor play, diminishing access to true "wild" nature as communities and suburbs expand, being literally plugged in more than unplugged whether it is to play stations, tv, computer, or ipods, and of course the modern day fears of letting children play unattended in a dangerous predatory world, as well as the legal/liability fears about children getting hurt while doing something 'dangerous' on community or personal property.

That's a tall list in my book and all of those reasons are things that I contend with when I think about why my own children don't spend more time out-of-doors. I feel a sadness that the current generation of children doesn't have the access to wide open space and the freedom to roam that I did as a child. I really do notice a difference. I know the world is a busy place and our private lives are busy too. But it seems crazy to think that there is no place, no time in our lives for Nature anymore. I just don't believe that can be true.

So what are children (and we adults) losing if they don't spend time engaging with the natural world? Louv, and a rising number of psychologists and educators, believe that by losing touch with Nature, children are losing touch with a vital source for a huge array of skill sets. Playing outdoors provides access to hands on, direct experience and generally experiences that engage all the senses--something plugging into a screen can never hope to do. Nature play encourages attention to detail and the sort of unstructured playing that fosters creativity and intelligence.(Studies have linked ADHD with Nature Deficit as well as Nature as a remedy for increasing children with ADHD's capacity to maintain attention.) Children who spend time in Nature glean basic knowledge and understanding about the natural sciences and the process by which life grows and changes. They develop a bond with their surroundings that can naturally bring about an understanding of the need for wilderness protection and conservation. And of course as anyone who has watched children running around in the wild knows, playing outside without fear of strangers, cars, or safety builds a child's sense of wonder and delight. It is endlessly entertaining and I think really cathartic for kids. It gives them a chance to blow off steam and be truly free of agenda.

I feel really connected with this line of thinking because in my own life, and in my life as a mother, I have seen the transformative power of Nature to bring focus and mental and emotional clarity, and to provide endless teachable moments and endless streams of questions. The environment around us was the original thing we humans had to figure out to survive and I still think there is a yearning deep inside each of us to continue to uncover it. Maybe part of the modern day depression epidemic is that we have begun to deny ourselves this most basic desire?

Nature can't help but be fascinating. There is so much there, so much at a glance that we don't immediately understand. This is just as true for adults as it is for children. I think of Nature as being the most direct empirical evidence we have for something bigger than ourselves; the perfection of it, the majesty, the absolute diversity of creatures and climates and details. It is astounding and it makes sense to me that if we don't encourage ourselves and our children to spend time being outside then we risk alienating ourselves from what makes us tick. We are a part of the landscape even though we try very hard to deny this.

Though I think my children are lucky to have already spent a good portion of time outside hiking, camping, and playing, this book has been a very nice reminder that it will take commitment to keep this as a continued goal in my home, particularly as my children grow and undoubtably become more and more plugged in. I agree with Louv, a relationship with the outdoors shouldn't be an elective course in childhood. It is something we need to nurture and allow.

We live in one of the most beautiful countries on Planet Earth. I'm almost certain that there is something beautiful to see and discover around every bend and in every town. And unlike a lot of the modernized world, we still have some open space to explore. We still have true American Wilderness. But even if we can't always jet off to Yosemite or Alaska or manage a hike, there are so many ways to encourage an awareness and a love of Nature in our lives. I have been making a little list of some of the things I do in my house to help make Nature accessible to me and to the kids and thought I would share, but I think the most obvious one is the most important..> JUST GO OUTSIDE!

-Encourage collecting: leaves, shells, acorns, rocks, bugs, berries. Kids are natural born collectors and this teaches them to take note of the little things and see that Nature is the sum of its parts.

-Have a nature table or spot where nature collections can be displayed inside. I use simple glass mason jars for Cleo's collections.

-Clip flowers and leaves from the yard or a walk and display them in a vase. Give Nature pride of place.

- Plant seeds together and watch them grow. Garden!

-Let your kids work in the yard with you and talk about what you are growing or why you are raking, weeding, etc.

-Go outside, even in bad weather. Taking a walk in the snow or in blustery wind and rain engages the senses and makes it an experience instead of just a walk down the block.

-We love the park and zoo but I try to sometimes offer other outdoor settings-hikes in the mountains, arboretums, throwing stones in a nearby river, etc. One of the great points Louv makes is that Nature happens in the edges, in places between places. If you have a usual park, try going off the path a bit into the bushes or under the trees instead of hitting the playground or grass.

-Mix it up at the library and try to find good nonfiction books about Nature. Subjects like weather are fascinating to kids and I have found that I'm pretty rusty on these subjects too and end up learning a lot myself! We also love field guides about bugs, birds, plants, and animal scat (poo!). It is pretty empowering to be able to name what you see.

-Install a bird feeder in your yard and watch birds.

-Take the time to comment about Nature to your kids...if you see a beautiful sunset or flower, tell them!

warning: winter ahead

it has been the most beautiful weather weekend. the temperature was perfect and the fall leaves are at their peak. i think it was the last "transition" we will have before it gets truly chilly and turns to winter. i love fall but i have to confess to a feeling of melancholy about it this year. i don't think i was ready to put my garden to bed or say goodbye to long evenings out on the deck. there is so much futurity, so much growth, so much to look toward in springtime and summer. it is a busy time, full of activities, but somehow it never feels hectic to me, just ultra fun. i'm already getting that hemmed in winter time fear...the what will we do to stay sane and entertained riddle.

to combat this, i came up with a big list of little plans i have for the long, dark winter days ahead. the ideas, so far, are:

+take up cross stitch/embroidery and start a sewing basket for cleo with beginning hoop and tapestry needle and get this nifty little starter sewing deal for flynn.

+have craft play dates frequently with cleo and her little friends. i love to watch what kids can create with minor instruction.

+make big batches of stock and read up on good soup and stew recipes. i love hot soup and fresh bread as a winter time meal.

+perfect roasted chicken. this recipe for cooking the whole bird in coconut milk sounds like a good start!

+brew beer with jaren and seth.

+have weekly reading night with the kids where we read a big stack of books or a bunch of chapters and then listen to a book on audiblekids.com

+eat by candlelight

+take lots of baths. and freeze treasure cubes for the kids.

+enjoy our fireplace and start to teach cleo and flynn about the art of building a good fire (lucky she has two fire masters in her life...grandpa and dad.)

+prepare some special celebration for winter solistice, longest night of the year on december 21: a fire pit, staying up late, and mulled wine will have to be involved.

+organize my iphoto and make more photo books to thumb through and enjoy. warm myself by the light of the mac!

+go through and purge my backlog of magazines once and for all!

+go snowshoeing, maybe even by moonlight, something i've always wanted to try.

+ski at least 5 times. a pretty silly goal considering i live 15 minutes from world class slopes.

+convince someone that they need to take me to hawaii, or other warm locale during slushy grey yucky phase of winter. taking children, optional.

+order specialty plant seeds from seed savers and day dream about spring!

THOSE are my best laid plans. How will you brave the long, cold winter? Tips, tips, pass them my way please!

Canning 101

I don't really do how tos on this blog because I don't feel qualified to give instructions on much! But there is one subject that I feel might warrant a half witted tutorial: canning. I think canning is one of those things that has gone by the wayside needlessly. Canned goods from the store quite simply bear no resemblance to things you can yourself, especially if the things you are canning are fresh and ripe from the garden.

I hestitate to call canning old fashioned because I hate to think of something so smart and sensible as being passe. Before I did any canning, I remember thinking what an arduous process it seemed....behemoth pots of boiling water, submerging something as fragile as glass jars down into it, and then doing something mysteriously called "processing". It seemed complicated, intimidating, and completely unnecessary. I'm happy to report that I am in my third year of canning and I couldn't have been more wrong.

Canning actually is a very simple process and the pay off is huge both in terms of the personal kudos you get when you show up with a jar of homemeade something something at a party, but also in terms of your own family's food supply. When you can a quart of peaches rather than go to aisle 11 for a can of Dole, you are controlling what you and your family eat. If you grew your own peaches, then you are putting the bounty of your harvest to work and creating something that will give your tastebuds immense pleasure in the barren stone fruit winter months. And if you simply bought the peaches at the market, then you are still one upping the Dole variety because you have bought those peaches in season and at their prime, and hopefully supported a local farmer in doing so. The actual peaches you make at home contain less preservatives, less sugar, probably fewer chemicals if said peaches happen to be organic. It's a serious boon to the pantry shelves too. Suddenly you have storehouse shelves worthy of a Martha Stewart set. Pretty little jars all in a row, only instead of being cutsy, these jewel toned concoctions gracing my shelves are pratical too, waiting for the blahs of winter to brighten my spirits and my tastebuds.

The biggest requirements in canning are patience and a chunk of time. But not as much as you'd think. Give a day over to it and you can put up a surprising amount of food. And since it's basically a mindless task once the food you are canning is actually made, I find it to be pretty relaxing, and even better if you have invited a friend to share the time with. One of my favorite canning traditions is to spend a day making and caning salsa with my friend Sally, someone I seldom see. At day's end, not only do we both net a great amount of delicious garden fresh salsa, we have chit chatted the day away and spent quality time together.

My kids are still pretty young to be able to hang with standing next to a pot of boiling water all day but I can see that down the line, this will be a fun family tradition. All of us dicing and slicing and listening to the satisfying pop of jar lids. Come to think of it, a family canning tradition has already been started. For the last two years my Dad and I have made jam with his gorgeous wild plums from Spring City and then give them as Christmas gifts. It is so much fun and we've even started getting a little crazy with our recipe, including hot peppers in this year's version just to make it interesting.

So if you are interested in trying canning, the equipment needed is manageable and pretty low cost. The most important thing you need is a large size pot so you can create a water bath to sterilize and process your jars. Though you can use whatever huge pot you have, I would recommend spending the $30ish to get an actual canning pot because it comes with a metal rack with handles that fit down inside the pot and holds the jars all snuggly and allows you to lift them out of the hot water easily when the jars are done. If you don't want to buy a canner then ask your grandmother if she still has one on the back shelf, or check the thrift stores. (Maybe it is because this is Utah, homeland to food storage afficionados, but I reguarly see canners and lots of jars at thrift stores in town.) But canners are readily available from just about any online retailer you can think of. Once you've got the canner all you need are glass jars, metal jar rings, and a fresh pack of jar lids which contain a wax seal that when heated adheres to the top of the glass jar and seals in all the foody, fruity goodness of whatever you are canning. A funnel or a plastic measuring cup with the bottom cut out is also nice to keep spills at bay when filling the jars. And if your canner doesn't have a rack a jar lifter or sturdy pair of tongs.

In a nutshell, here are the basic steps for canning:

1. Prepare the food, fruit, or jam recipe as directed.

2. Fill canner about 3/4 full with water (or enough so that jars will be submerged and covered with an inch or two of water) and crank the heat up until it comes to a boil.

3. Sterilize glass jars you plan to fill either by submerging in boiling water in canner for 15 minutes, then fill, or run through a quick dishwasher cycle and then use the jars directly afterwards while they are still hot from the drying cycle. This prevents the glass from cracking when you fill the jars with hot stuff.

4. Fill all jars with your chosen yumminess (use little funnel apparatus to prevent major mess) and then wipe rims of jars with a clean, damp towel.

5. Put on lids and then twist metal rings on tight.

6. Fill metal canning rack with jars (or strategically stack loose jars in pot so they don't bang into each other and break.) Lift rack into canner, set timer and process jars for recommended time. I use Ball's chart in the Ball Blue Book to figure out exact times and then I tack on an additional 15 minutes because I live over 6000 feet. I periodically double check the water level in the canner to make sure all jars remain covered by at least an inch of water.

7. When time is up, remove rack carefully from boiling water (or remove jars with a jar lifter or tongs) and line up jars on counter until cool. Listen for the lovely popping sounds the lids make that indicate they are properly sealed and will keep your food fresh for at least a year or more!

There are so many great online resources for canning instruction as well as recipes. I was excited to come across this awesome site called Canning Across America with super cool tagline: JOIN THE CANVOLUTION that has great recipes and resources and even sponsor events around the country like demos and home canning parties. I love the thought of a home canning party. I may just have to have one. Maybe you should too?

homecentric

there is no doubt about it, having a home is better than not having one. we have been experiencing a week of impromptu homelessness thanks to some floor refinishing gone awry, resulting in our house REEKING of toxic fumes for nearly 7 days. i hardly have room to complain, i know, since we do in fact have a house to call our own and the problem was of our own making. but nonetheless, i've been moaning and groaning and a tad ornery because the whole deal has been pretty trying. we have been lucky to have had other places to land (thank you Bev and Nile and Dad!) but i've felt a real sense of purposelessness without my home. i think so much of what i'm about these days is tied to embracing being home and relishing the comforts and sense of daily routine this creates. i would go so far as to say that my current philospohy about simplfying my life and my wants could be summed up as being homecentric. i differentiate this idea from being an agoraphobe or a misanthrope because the desire and urge to be home has nothing to do with avoiding other people or society at large but more to do with me taking control over my own time, my values, and my daily schedule.

the last 9 months have taught me that for the most part staying in seems to breed contentment. my kids don't seem to miss being shuttled to and fro and they get lots of free time to play and create. my bank balance is happier when i don't go out and shop needlessly and this in turn makes my marriage more peaceful. the physical home around me looks better because i have more time to keep it tidy and organized. i feel more creative because i make the time to write, read, and work on projects. my family eats better because i cook more and eat out less. i feel better because i'm spending the kind of quality time with my family that i think is key for happy little souls and minds and this makes me feel like i take the job of being a mother and a partner seriously and i like that. becoming homecentric has been a huge epiphany for me over the course of the last year and something that this week away has laid plain all over again. though the week has been a tough one, i'm grateful for the reminder that home is where i want to be. especially a home with shiny, glossy, luscious new floors!!

swooning over art & ideas

I love, love, love the artist, designer, and person extraordinaire, Maira Kalman. When I lived in NYC she was one of the people I got to meet via my job at the Museum. She was amazing. Her work wowed me then and wows me now. Her children's books are genius-written equally for the child and the adult, and she has done a lot of memorable covers for the New Yorker. Her illustrations always hit a very unusual mark for me in terms of art. They are whimsical and sweet yet sophisticated and smart.

I am thrilled to discover that she is doing a monthly visual blog on the NY Times website called "And the Pursuit of Happiness" exploring themes of America and American democracy through her quirky mind. I am loving it! All the entries are extraordinary but this one called Can Do about Ben Franklin and American Invention-ism made me swoon. Check it out. It may be a little off topic for me, but I think this piece and Kalman in general is a great nod on the side of abundance; in spirit, in deed, and in your heart. Hope you enjoy.

bring it on, cornucopia!

i have a confession. for all my good intentions my garden this year turned out pretty pitifully. i had grand visions of wading through row after row of over flowing tomoato, zuchinni, peppers, and eggplants; everything green and the vegetables luscious. it was our first year with a true vegetable garden and i think, like so many beginner's pursuits, the mind's eye and the actual reality had very little in common. rather than lush plenty, i pretty much have patchy anemic plants in dry, stale soil. sounds like eden, right?

it feels like pretty much everything that could go wrong did. the summer here in salt lake started out slowly with an unseasonably cool and rainy june so other than my spinach and lettuce crops, my early summer plantings all pretty much flunked. things were yellow and mottled and not great garden material. i seriously think i had something like 8 pea pods to show for my efforts. it was pathetic. the birds successfully stole every ripe strawberry we had. then there's flynn who at 2 years old is my garden's greatest enemy. he picked every single blossom off my cucumber plant and then ended up just having his way with it and pulling the whole thing right up out of the ground. he regularly picks all the tomatoes off the vine green or red, and he has stepped on my dear beets to the point of bruising. poor garden. i didn't pay enough attention to the tomatoes climbing up and up and nearly every plant has overrun their cage and are tipping precariously back over on to the dirt. but the biggest error of judgement was that the garden site just doesn't get enough sun. our yard has lovely huge pine and aspen trees and even though we removed a few pine behemoths last fall, we still didn't get enough golden rays to make things thrive.

i'm terming this year our guinea pig garden year, and because of our failures, i think we learned a lot. i think next summer we're ready to commit. no more pussy footing around and half heartedly growing stuff, we're going to get in it to win it! next year we will be siting things differently; pulling up grass and moving the garden to the only completely sunny patch in our yard. i will start my seeds for cold crops like lettuce, peas, spinach, and beets a lot earlier and hope that i can get a second round in again in the fall. i will water everything more and be vigilant about weekly fish emulsion fertilizer. most of all, i just want to make sure i spend the time out there taking stock and being attentive. i think truly great, productive gardens must take a lot more will power and hours than we were giving to ours.

all this being said, i am enjoying the bounty of the end of harvest season and am relishing the few garden triumphs we had. we have had many a good B.L.T. in the last couple weeks with our black master heirloom tomatoes. and i really am not lying when i say that the exactly 12 peaches that came off our little spindly peach tree were the sweetest, juiciest, and, dare i say, ambrosial peaches i've ever encountered? they were heavenly and made me seriously want to turn every inch of backyard into a peach orchard so i can share the gospel. after a rough start, the basil has finally matured and is now so prolific i've been making and freezing pesto like a fiend. i've been canning fresh salsa to make use of some respectable looking jalapeno and serrano peppers we grew.

and i know i'm not the only one with great, home grown food on my hands. i've been getting lots of nice fresh produce care packages from people...zucchini bread, potatoes, apples, beets....so much bounty. this is such a great time of year. the food couldn't be more prime and fresh or the light more golden. i feel lucky that i'm not trying to survive off what i grew this summer. we'd starve come october. but i feel even luckier still to have a little plot of earth to call my own, a place to reap what i sow. it's worth the weeds and the smack of failure. there's always next year, right?

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R.I.P. Gilmer Drive, place of my youth

it is hard to imagine, but my dad has lived in the same exact spot for 36 years. his blue/green house on the hill is a fixture in the neighborhood but even more a fixture in his life. and mine. i love gilmer drive and i love that house so it is with more than a tinge of sadness that i watched him pack up his stuff and head for a new spot and a fresh start.

i had the pleasure of going over and helping him assess his belongings this past week, what to pack, what to trash, what to give away. moving sucks at any point, but after 36 years of accumulation, the task can be plain old daunting. it is so much easier to be objective about other people's stuff than your own. what to chuck vs. what to keep seemed pretty obvious to me, but then again, i hadn't developed the personality and the stories behind these objects over the course of my adult life. it is difficult to see the meaning in a stapler until you realize it was the one that sat on your very first real desk. you get my drift.

since this was the house of my childhood, i had many funny moments opening drawers and finding odds and ends and treasures from my past. in the bathroom that was once shared by me and my sister i found our very first "lady gilette" electric razor that my mom bought for us in our tweens when she didn't think we could handle the umph of a true razor. the entire thing is maroon and has a huge cord that is not detachable! i found 20 year old stray bottles of ultra swim shampoo left from my swim team days and vidal sasson "cream rinse", the only conditioner other than Aussie Mega allowed in the 80s shower, I'm pretty sure. i found my mom's bright blue plastic sewing box, still kept on the top shelf of the old closet and still full of seam rippers and denim iron on patches. i saw the first cds i remember my parents buying ( the Beatles Rubber Soul and Bob Marley Legend) as well as copies of recorded off tv onto blank VHS tapes of Max Duggan Returns, Princess Bride, Goonies, and Ghostbusters...the flicks I was raised on and could probably still recite verbatim.

it was a trip down memory lane and it truly was fun. i think i've been in such a mode of thinking of material possessions, STUFF, in a dreadful light: as a pain in the ass, a debter's prison, and just generally something with a bad connotation. and i think if acquiring things is what defines and stresses you then it probably deserves those monikers. but seeing all these relics of my past, sentimental and full of meaning, i felt so grateful that my dad isn't more of a purger, happy that i had the chance to revisit one more time my awkward adolescence, my parent's divorce, and to say goodbye to my childhood in a very official and cathartic way.

i guess the lesson in all this for me is that though i really don't want to accumulate for the sake of accumulating, perhaps there is a reason to hold on to that favorite stuffed animals your 5 year old isn't really playing with anymore, or to resist the urge to purge the tattered copy of williams carlos williams poetry that reminds you of your freshman year of college. perhaps treated right and protected, maybe stuff has the ability to develop and ripen, just like a fine wine; keep it in your cellar and then when you are ready and relaxed, sit back and enjoy the taste and the perfume of memory.

U PICK!

Me and mine have had a very full holiday weekend. We spent lots of time with friends, worked in the yard, and managed to start a serious home demolition project in our living room. But the biggest hit of the weekend, and seriously the most favorite thing I've done in forever, was going to McBride Berry Farm in Mapleton, Utah to pick raspberries and blackberries. I found the farm on http://www.pickyourown.org/ which is a really great resource for finding YouPick farms across the country.

The idea of going and picking a crop fresh from the farm that grows it has appealed to me since becoming more aware of the concept of community supported agriculture, which is basically shorthand for saying you support the farming in your region by directly giving the farmers the money for their products, as opposed to grocery store or mega stores. I also felt a pick your own experience would be a great learning opportunity for my kids (and me) to see first hand how a specific food we eat grows and what kind of labor it takes to get it to our table. Going to pick berries seemed like a good fit for our family because we eat them in a serious way around here in smoothies and over our morning granola and yogurt. I usually rely on the big frozen bag of mixed berries from Costco or splurge and buy "fresh" from the store (which I now realize is clearly not the right word. ) And happily it turns out that at $3/pound, picking the berries fresh is way more economical than buying them in tiny plastic clamshells! My plan was to go pick a lot and then make some jam and then freeze the rest to use over the next few months.

So on Saturday we loaded up and headed an hour or so south to the farm and picked our hearts out. The farm was a good size but certainly not some huge corporate operation. It is owned and run by a very sweet couple, Wayne and Joyce McBride, (that's Wayne in the photo above) who were right there to hand us buckets and give us a quick lesson in the art of picking. The raspberries were so beautiful and ripe and the canes were bending over with the weight of them. Jaren, Cleo, Flynn, and I all picked right along side each other, listening to the bees buzz around and just enjoying the peace that comes from a nice, unhurried task. We ended up picking 16 pounds in a couple hours! The blackberries were my favorite to pick. You had to work more for them, really digging through to the middle of the canes to find the ripe ones, but man, the good berries would practically fall right into your hand when you touched them, they were so ripe and ready to be eaten. And they taste unlike ANY blackberry I've ever bought at the grocery store. They are absolutely black, with no hint of red on the berry, and are plump with juice, and super sweet and a bit wild tasting. I couldn't help but think how luxurious it felt to be eating something picked at the peak of ripeness, it just isn't an everyday experience.

I am happy to report that the kids enjoyed our adventure just as much as we did. Every kid I've ever known has relished picking leaves and flowers in the yard to a fault We battle with our kids constantly about what is and is not okay to pick. (All the flowers on Mom's cucumber plants NO; all the purple flowers on our vinca groundcover FINE...you get the idea.) To get to turn them loose and tell them to pick every single berry they see felt pretty liberating for all of us. Cleo filled her bucket about as fast as we did, and at one point, she turned to us and claimed "this is more fun than Lagoon!" (A local version of a Six Flags so that is saying a lot!) And aIthough I don't think Flynn's bucket ever saw a single berry, his berry stained fingers, cheeks, and chin were proof of just how much he was enjoying his own brand of picking. HIs diapers may never be the same!

It was a successful outing and one that I would definitely recommend and will now turn into a yearly family tradition. Next up: turning all that bounty into jam!

P.S. If you are in the Salt Lake area, the McBride's are having a banner year for their berries and predict they will be open into October. There address is 1849 S. 2100 W., Mapleton, UT

Go check it out and have fun picking and eating!

i heart you, road trip

Ahh......home from our mega road trip and camp out. We trekked across the Western states like nobody's business...Utah, Idaho, Oregon, Montana and back home. I know I am biased as a born and bred Westerner, but I do not believe that there is an ugly state in the West. They all seem to have their discrete charm. Mountains, plains, jagged peaks, rolling hillocks, rivers, lakes, deep gorges, mossy forest floors, waterfalls, and so much wild life. It really buoyed me to see that so much of the American West still feels wild and untouched. There were hours long drives in Idaho and Montana filled with NOTHING, in a good way. I relish the thought of all that space and only find a little bit of fear in what might happen to it in the future. I get so caught up with thinking about all that has been ruined or degraded or disrespected in these modern days and it feels really wonderful to get out and see that so much unabashed wildness still remains.

I love road trips and seeing the land change and morph and watching those little towns come and go and trying to imagine whether or not I could ever live there. I pretty much always feel a push-pull in my psyche between rural and urban. Maybe we all do? I eat up big city amenities like art, good food, sleek well designed spaces, fashion, being surrounded by culturally literate, open minded folks wearing groovy shoes.... but then I also hate that I check my email 5 times a day, spend more time driving than walking, have to worry if Cleo rides her bike more than 5 houses up the street, and have only recently been able to say that I truly know my neighbors. I would like to think that I could hack it in Farmland or Mountainville, USA--working the land and having more time to myself to grow stuff, think big thoughts, and raise my little brood. It is a tough call and maybe I will never be settled until I have had a run at living in the sticks. (Affectionately said, of course.)

But I do think it is easy to idealize the rural. It is pretty clear to me that I know next to nothing about how to really make a living off the land. I know my fair share about plants but I have yet to come across a field of what have you, with the exception of corn and wheat, that I didn't wish the farmer had put a sign up just like they do at the museum saying what the hell is planted in there and what they do with it. Same thing for livestock...what kind of cows are those? And I still don't get why so many people seem to grow hay when I regularly saw signs on the road side saying hay bales for sale $6 a bale! How can anyone make a living on that? Maybe only making $6 for all your efforts isn't that big a deal when you have acres of fertile, gorgeous, untouched land to call your own. Maybe literally owning a piece of that wildness is way more defining and securing than a bank account statement could ever indicate?

I come back from trips refilled and inspired, but also glad to be home and step back into my routine. I recognize that vacations allow me a lot of uncommon pleasures...here are some of my favorites from Mega Road Trip 2009:

1. Car Dancing. (I credit my Dad with instilling in me a real love of upper body, seat belt friendly and utterly nerdy jamming.)

2. Smores. I mean, really, is there a better, more sensual dessert? Single serving, hands on, gooey, delicious goodness. Yum! I wanted them equally as much as Cleo did.

3. Star gazing. I tripped out looking up at the stars quite a few nights. I have always had a goal of understanding and recognizing the constellations but for once I didn't let myself feel frustrated with all that I don't know when I looked up and just enjoyed the sheer magnitude of them and my infinitesimal, smaller than spore like size in this universe. Way to put me in my place, sky.

4. Sleeping adjacent to my beloveds. It was beyond cozy to share a tent with my family. Trying at times, sure, but I would get a wave of giddiness each night when I would snuggle down into my bag and get to look right at the sleeping faces of my kids or whisper with Jaren long into the night. It was lovely and certainly a phase of life that I imagine I will long for when I have two teenagers who don't even want to be in the car with me, let alone sleep next to me!

5. Listening to hours and hours of This American Life podcasts. I think Ira Glass is a genius.

6. Eating junky road food to the point that I am ready to be a health freak for the next few months. I actually ate a vanilla flavored Zinger and several red licorice ropes, both things I haven't eaten since probably 1989.

7. Catching up with friends without interruption for days on end. My lovely and dear friend Morgan found the most exquisite cabin in the middle of nowhere for us to lay our heads, let the kids run wild, and stay up late and drink wine and play Apples to Apples and make memories. If she keeps planning perfect vacations, then god damnit, I am just going to have to keep going on them.

8. Letting Flynn get dirty and stay dirty and letting Cleo pick every single berry off pretty much every single bush in our campsite. Two things that would never fly on the homestead!

9. Unplugging. Literally and Figuratively.

10. Eating an apple pie made from scratch with apples picked by hand in an orchard out the front door of the cabin.