12.31.2008

ground rules

the idea of this period of self imposed scarcity is to be reflective about going without and to reap the rewards of not spending any money for 31 days.  i am excited to see what the effect is on me and my family mentally, and whether i really feel and see a difference in how much physical stuff we have around.  

though i do make plenty of impulse buys each week at various places (coffee drive thru, something random for the kids--usually clothing, online purchases, etc.) the grocery store is definitely my number one place to squander our cash.  i like to cook and i regularly go 2-3 times a week to the store and can drop anywhere from $50-150 each visit which is ridiculous.  (shopping for specific fancy pants but yummy recipes can sure be a budget killer...pancetta?  porcinis? chervil?  it all adds up--definitely not the most cost effective way to shop and/or feed my family.) 

for the next month, i plan to avoid the grocery store and live off my well stocked pantry and freezer.  the only exception i will make will be to replenish the necessities like milk, eggs, and cheese or if i run out of essentials like baking soda or flour.  and since i do have children who are growing like weeds, i will also replenish fresh perishables like bananas and pears.  I am going to give myself a $15 per week budget that will cover these kind of basic items.  this weekly allowance will also need to cover any family entertainment costs we have, which i think will help me to achieve the second goal of this experiment which is to embrace being home more and doing less  out and about.   the low weekly entertainment budget will hopefully force me to be more creative about the things we go and do and will make any outings we have extra special.   i'm very interested to see if cleo and flynn notice a difference in how we spend our time this month.  

the only other exception to the budget rule is that cleo's 5 year old birthday is on jan 20.  i have already ordered her present online so technically the money for that has already been spent.  but i will have to think about whether a breach in the budget will be in order for her birthday party.  it may be interesting to see if i can do it on $15? a possible second experiment?  i will have to think that one through more carefully so let's just say i leave the door open for a budget breach for that one event this month.  i promise not to sneak a cashmere sweater in for me.

pantry porn



i'm really excited to ring in the new year because for once i feel really ready to tackle some of my personal issues and work harder to make lasting changes.  this whole project is a definite start toward taking better control (and exercising better control!) over my personal finances.  i wouldn't say we are knee deep in debt or anything but i have found that like pretty much everyone these days, we don't do nearly enough saving and tend to spend when we feel like it without much of a plan.  we aren't planners by nature and in lots of things this kind of spontaneity breeds a lot of joy in our life.  but in terms of finances it is a disaster.   

i'd love to feel that i control my own financial destiny and could work towards buying something on etsy or mighty goods i lust after, or creating a true emergency fund so we're covered when faced with another big car repair.  i think it would be particularly fulfilling to learn to put aside dough for big expenses like a trip or an airplane ticket or home improvement projects and then be able to REWARD yourself with that big ticket thing. you would actually have earned it then...how novel!   my credit card has made me believe that i can afford things when i want them instead of wanting them, waiting, then affording them.  i feel our whole society is pretty assbackwards in this regard and clearly the toll it has taken is showing up in the big cracks (crevasses?) in our economy and banking industries.  i thought this piece in the Times Magazine on Sunday was pretty inspiring in its straight talk tone.  it seems the whole country could chant the "stop being stupid" mantra!

anyway,  only 2 days left to spend it up before my big january freeze.  i'm trying to let go of the urge i have to go out and buy 2 of everything "just in case" ...but this is certainly the opposite of what this 'buy nothing' time is supposed to be about.  i want to have to turn to what i really have to get through the month, i.e. if my shampoo runs out or something, hey, don't i have one zilion little trial size shampoos from years of hotel stays?  i think we all have little largesses, stashes, of things around our house that are there for the "just in case" moment, only our consumerist culture never makes those just in case times happen. instead, we go shopping.  

i'm hopeful that my fully stocked pantry will be my friend in the coming month and that it will hold us over through the rough patches.  pasta and rice were made for times like these right?  i'm attaching a few shots of my stocked pantry and thought it would be interesting to see what it looks like when the month is over.

12.29.2008

a little background

so the idea for this project was born from my beloved volvo  taking an abrupt nose dive on I-215 two weeks ago. the transmission blew and suddenly i am stranded on the side of the road and then even more suddenly stranded inside my house with two young children for days on end.  

initially i felt desperate at the thought of going car-less and being stuck at home.  i think anyone with young children knows that each day stretches out like a hundred years (even if the years themselves fly by and you can't believe you have a 5 year old already) and so i definitely  have become the kind of mom to fill up the day with errands; trips to the bank, target, library for storytime or a new batch of books, the aquarium, ice cream, del taco, a playdate here, a playdate there....just stuff to break up my day and theirs.  and then add the holiday madness and to do lists on top of this structure i impose on each day and i felt down right panicked. but since we're basically broke right now,  i knew i had to roll with it, forget the rental car option dancing in my head and just suck it up and stay home.  

the first day actually wasn't hard. it happened to snow a brilliant, deep winter snow all day and being on house arrest felt cozy and right.  we made hot chocolate and watched a movie, flynn took a super long nap and the day just flowed.  the second and third day were much harder. i felt edgy and irritable with the kids and catching up on the laundry didn't feel like much of an achievement for a whole day of my life. the upside of course was getting to things that i rarely do like mopping the kitchen floor (don't judge...but i usually think a sweep and a spot check with a wipe will suffice), wiping all the germ infested toys down with lysol, making a goodwill pile so we have room for the influx of holiday toys....little things but things that made me feel good and more on top of it.     it was also fun to be able to allow myself the time to really get into something the kids wanted to do, no matter how long it took. cleo loves crafts and art projects and it was fun to "fill up the day" walking to the store to buy the trimmings to make a gingerbread house and then sitting right down to make it.   no rush, no fuss. 

and then somehow by the end of the first week i had mellowed and relaxed into this new homebound life and realized, quite by acciden,t that i found it totally LIBERATING and actually started to see it as a bit of a luxury. maybe this was just what the doctor ordered?  there i was at home, enjoying myself, enjoying my home, and my children more, not less.  so i've been trying to digest the why of this and i've come up with a couple theories...

i think a lot of my self-imposed erranding and feeling like i need to create activities for my children actually stems from my being a stay-at-home mom and worrying that if i don't schedule and do, do, do i will be perceived, or worse, will perceive myself, as being lazy or not doing enough.  (this topic is a whole ball of wax in and of itself. there have been tomes written about the mommy wars and the good vs. evil-ness of staying at home or working outside the home. the whole topic is exhausting to think about, much less debate. i don't pretend to have a political angle here, all i know is that for me, as an educated, capable woman who decided to stay at home and raise kids, it is a constant struggle to feel validated in this choice and i wonder every single day on some level if it is the E word--enough.) the ironic thing that these weeks home have taught me is that filling up your life with stuff, with to dos, with social activities is draining.  i think being too busy has made me more chaotic at home and i've let important things slip like managing my family's finances and really focusing in on my children and making my time their time.  jaren and i like to joke about my job being that of house manager and it has taken these weeks being home more to realize that i was doing a really poor job of it. it was like giving myself a corrective interview. and that, my friends, is part of what this month's experiment is all about. i am going to take my job as house manager more seriously.  will this make me happier? will this make my family better?  we shall see...we shall see.