hidden in plain sight

i've been on my own, husband-less, for nearly two weeks. jaren travels a lot for work so i'm somewhat used to the single parenting gig, but i am continually amazed at how relentless parenting feels when there is just one pair of hands, and not two, shouldering the work. a real shout out to jaren for all he does to make my daily life feel more like fun and less like work, but i'd also like to say WOW to all those parents out there who do it on their own. i'm awed.

i have a funny response when jaren goes out of town. i am usually pretty ecstatic for the first couple days because i feel at liberty to let the house go to shambles, watch a chick flick, eat leftovers or pb&j for days on end, or go to bed early. i'm entirely the boss of my schedule and i like the way that feels. and then the thrill wears off and i quickly start getting antsy and wishing i had a companion again, someone who cares just as much as i do about the dry patches on our lawn or how funny it is to hear flynn say the word cantaloupe or will actually listen as i recount the bizarre dream i had last night about being chased by a saber toothed tiger while swimming in a hotel pool.

part of the joy of having a partner is that you have someone to help bear witness to your life and adventures. things are just more fun when you can share them with someone. it feels good to realize that part of what i crave most in my life is something completely attainable and totally free: people to share my life with. i have a fortune from a cookie i had ages ago taped up on my fridge, it reads: "the entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person."

isn't that lovely? we make the formula for happy living all kinds of complicated. hopes, dreams, aspirations, success, wealth...but when it really comes down to it, i think the actual recipe is hidden in plain sight, right there as you have a conversation with someone you love while making toast and hearing the wind in the trees.