falling off the wagon

last night after i got the kids in bed, i headed to the party store to get a few items for cleo's birthday bash on saturday.  (experience has taught me that there is no worse store to take your kids into than this.  every single thing is a temptation and so tacky.)  of course the store had just closed when i pulled out so i haede to my consumerist mecca and probably this project's nemesis--target.  i seriously broke out in a sweat when i walked in the door. could i really keep my cart empty except for the stuff for cleo's party?  it shocked me how challenging it was.  i tried to avert my eyes and look straight forward and not deviate from my list. but i'm not gonna lie, it was a struggle.  

i bought some goody bag stuff and treats and plastic cups and plates but i did have one budget indiscretion.  i threw in a pack of new clips for cleo's hair.  they cost $3.19.  i had $5 left from this week's budget but i planned to use this for some yogurt and t.p.!  so i guess i fell off the wagon.  i justified the purchase in all kinds of ways. they were under $5, cleo is growing her bangs out and they are driving us both insane, this is "part" of cleo's bday gift...and on and on.  i'm lucky the item was small and inexpensive but the experience taught me two important things: 1. actually going to a store you love just to look when you don't have money to spend is not a good idea and, is in fact, almost painful  2. you are your own worst enemy. you will come up with very convincing arguments aimed right at your achilles heel over why you need something or how you will be much better about not spending next time.  you will win yourself over. 

i'm bummed to have given in, but hopefully this will have honed the rough edge or given me some new ammo with which to defend my budget!  

i think being a consumer is so built into our society that buying things is literally a past-time.  i've confessed over and over to letting trips to a store be my  daily "outing" with the kids.  it fills up the time and you feel like you have gotten out and "done" something.  but this experiment is forcing me to ask the question what am i really "doing" when i shop?  does the activity of buying stuff do more than entertain me?  does it help me? is it filling a void? what message does shopping and the marketing environment of most stores send to my children?  i am always surprised when cleo (who does not yet read) will recognize the signs for costco or ikea.  she "reads" the disney logo from all the movies she's seen.  i think kids soak up via osmosis, or whatever miraculous way kids learn, our attitudes about buying.  and sadly, the message i've been sending to my kids is that i shop often and i pretty much buy what we want, when we want. it is instant and it is relatively thoughtless.  i recently heard that the idea of lay-away is making a huge come back.  i don't think i've ever put anything on lay away but i recall my mom doing it when i was a child.  i love the idea of this because it is h a more thoughtful way to consume.  you decide you want something and then you pay for it little by little, and here's the catch, you can't take it home until you've actually completely paid for it!  what?    this delayed gratification approach seems so wise and so counter the buy on credit, actually pay for it years later, approach.  

my amazing sister sent me a link yesterday to a great article in the Dallas morning news about a couple referred to as "consumer dropouts" who did an experiment of their own. they stopped by new stuff.  it is very inspiring. check it out.  http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/lifetravel/stories/011109dngdconsumerdropouts.c5e3100.html

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